Nothing is more devastating or "encouraging" to find out that your old ex's new gf is going to Harvard business school and you are kind of stuck. what a week!

This old ex of mine always reminds me of the experience in Beijing, 2017. I was super young, kind of naive, and have this absolute innocent idea towards love and life. He is actually the first person that make me realize what is social status and why we need that.

I guess after 4 years of hardworking in business school and work, I still get confused and upset from time to time. I feel this pressure from him and the society as well. How do they expect me to perform in a certain amount time? Will I be mature enough to stand in front him and confident to perform well? Honestly, I don’t know.

I talked to a 19-year-old teenage boy today. He is 100 percent believe the love happened in campus is so much better than happened after working. I doubt about it. He poured all his negative ideas about the breakup to me and I am getting more and more depressed in the middle of the night. Suddenly, I realized I did grow up at this stage.

My life is tedious. I am just trying to balance everything between work and study. I just hope after 4 years I can still have the dream or make the dream of having a Porsche car come true.

Present versus past, naive versus realistic.