Bittersweet 16

Fleeting obsessions on anything new

Millions of questions about my existence and if I'm even cool
'Bout now I thought that I'd checked off some boxes
Keep kickin' my bucket list right down the street
They say I'm too young to think about love but without it I feel incomplete

Another year full of static then June feels so tragic
I'll lie here, right here
Less melodramatic, more anticlimactic
I'm all out of tears
What a bittersweet sixteen
(Hmm, hmm)

When I was younger I used to wonder if I'd have a boyfriend
And we'd love each other
He'd tell me I'm pretty and make me feel nice
But I just feel shitty, surprise
My childhood's wasted and I'm scared to fix it
I'm halfway to halfway to a mid life crisis
And I can't even drive yet
Maybe I should get my license
Maybe I should get this life thing figured out

Another year full of static then June feels so tragic
I'll lie here, right here
Less melodramatic, more anticlimactic
I'm all out of tears
What a bittersweet six—

Top of my life, is it downhill from here?
I refuse to believe they're the best of my years
My mind makes up stories but they sure don't help
Cause the me in my head is just worse than myself
Like a candle burning out

Another year full of static then June feels so tragic
I'll lie here, right here
Less melodramatic, more anticlimactic
I'm all out of tears
What a bittersweet sixteen

City Leaver

We used to walk down to that coffee shop

It was only two left turns
Somehow we still got lost
Just talking, stop walking
(Wait, where are we?)

You always ordered like a ten year old
The sweetest thing they sold
You'd say it's too cold
Get a brain freeze and I'd just laugh at you
(It was pretty cute)

Then you dropped the bomb saying baby I'm moving
It's not far from LA to Houston
See you again if I come back for college
Only three years to wait

You're such a liar liar words on fire
Hanging my heart from a telephone wire
Cheater cheater city leaver
Twenty hour drive in your new two seater
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

You never told me you were visiting
Thought that was interesting seeing you posting things
Right out of LAX now who'd have guessed you didn't really care

And then you dropped the bomb said I'm already leaving
And it's so far from LA to Houston
Say you miss me but I don't believe it
If you did you'd be reaching out

You're such a liar liar words on fire
Hanging my heart from a telephone wire
Cheater cheater city leaver
Twenty hour drive in your new two seater
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I don't want to hear it, I don't want to see it
I don't really care if you're sorry for laughing
I don't want to hear you, I don't want to see you
Only thing you're good for is disappearing on me

You're such a liar liar words on fire
Hanging my heart from a telephone wire
Cheater cheater city leaver
Twenty hour drive in your new two seater
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (city leaver)

Buzzkill Baby

Are you happy now that I'm so miserable
Isn't that what you wanted from me
Sadly your love was conditional
You liked to pick me apart like daisies

Left me crying in the bathroom on my birthday
Wish I never even met you in the first place
Now you only keep my number just to hurt me
You're leaving me all alone

You're such a buzzkill
Now I'm second guessing those three words I said out loud
Ohh you're such a buzzkill baby
It's almost impressive how much you still stress me out
Ohh you're such a buzzkill baby
You suck the air out of the room
And you cut the deepest kind of wounds
Honestly depressing how much you can bring me down
Ohh you're such a buzzkill baby

Now you text me at 2am on Saturday
You say your liking my music lately
Almost had me with your shallow flattery
You've really pulled off a full 180

Left me crying in the bathroom on my birthday
Wish I never even met you in the first place
Now you only keep my number just to hurt me
You're leaving me all alone

You're such a buzzkill
Now I'm second guessing those three words I said out loud
Ohh you're such a buzzkill baby
It's almost impressive how much you still stress me out
Ohh you're such a buzzkill baby
You suck the air out of the room
And you cut the deepest kind of wounds
Honestly depressing how much you can bring me down
Ohh you're such a buzzkill baby

Ohh you're such a buzzkill baby
Ohh you're such a buzzkill baby

Are you happy does that make you miserable
I wonder whose buzz you're killing lately
Almost had me I cried like a funeral
I watched you pick me apart like daisies

You're such a buzzkill
Now I'm second guessing those three words I said out loud
Ohh you're such a buzzkill baby
It's almost impressive how much you still stress me out
Ohh you're such a buzzkill baby
You suck the air out of the room
And you cut the deepest kind of wounds
Honestly depressing how much you can bring me down
Ohh you're such a buzzkill baby

Collapsing Stars

Are you human or just programmed to deceive
If your skin was translucent, would I see cold blood underneath
Not really sure if you're human or just a heart killing machine
Cause I'm tryna see if you ever did care about me

I really am trying so hard not to be mad
If I'm lookin' inward, I'm lashin' out cause I'm so sad
I say I don't but I really do miss what we almost could've had
It was close but no cigar
Almost kissed you in your car
Lost in the black hole that's your heart
Baby, now we're just collapsing stars

Am I even human or just programmed to believe
That sweet little cupid doesn't have it out for me
And part of my fucked up recovery
Is the monster that I paint you out to be

I really am trying so hard not to be mad
If I'm lookin' inward I'm lashin' out cause I'm so sad
I say I don't but I really do miss what we almost could've had
It was close but no cigar
Almost kissed you in your car
Lost in the black hole that's your heart
Baby, now we're just collapsing stars

And part of my fucked up recovery
Is the monster that I paint you out to be
Slowly becoming a part of me
I don't even know what's become of me

I really am trying so hard not to be mad
If I'm lookin' inward I'm lashin' out cause I'm so sad
I say I don't but I really do miss what we almost could've had
It was close but no cigar
Almost kissed you in your car
Lost in the black hole that's your heart
Baby, now we're just collapsing stars

What If?

What if you never parked your car in that parking lot
Took out the keys from the ignition or just found a different parking spot
If my friends had never called to go to the shopping mall
And I never walked through those main doors where you were standing by the dollar store

Ask me my name with those eyes
What if I had just thought twice
What if I walked away would you still have my heart today
(One, two, three, four)

Do I think of you now and then?
Do I defend you to my friends?
Do I tell your mom and dad that things turned out for the best?
Do I look fondly through our texts?
Still have your picture on my desk?
Would I do it all again?
No, I hate you and I never want to see your face again

What if you never asked me out to go to the after party
Only to leave me in the living room where I didn't know nobody
What if you treated me with the kindness and the respect I deserve (what!?)
Maybe I'd have stayed with you
Four years with a sociopathic lying piece of shit

Do I think of you now and then?
Do I defend you to my friends?
Do I tell your mom and dad that things turned out for the best?
Do I look fondly through our texts?
Still have your picture on my desk?
Would I do it all again?
No, I hate you and I never want to see your face again
Do I think of you now and then?
Do I defend you to my friends?
Do I tell your mom and dad that things turned out for the best?
Do I look fondly through our texts?
Still have your picture on my desk?
Would I do it all again?
No, I hate you and I never want to see your face again

See your face again
And I deleted all our photos
And I love it cause it's like we never met
Like, you never parked your car in that parking lot