The charts show how water was consumed in Australia in 2004 and how

Australian residential water was used in the same year.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and

make comparisons where relevant.

?

Your response

The graph

s

illustrate

s

the proportion of water consumption

by in

six categories

in Australia in 2004 and distribution of residential water usage in the same

year. Overall, most

waster water

consumed in Australia in 2004 was

by

residential in residences,

and

the

bathroom and garden took up more than half

of residential water consumption.

?

The part of residential, referring to Residential usage of water in

apartments

and houses, accounted for 57% and 13% respectively.

Whereas, whereas the

‘

other

’ category

merely took up 3% as the least

part of

water consumption.

Little more than that, the

proportion

of used by

government was

a little more

at

6%. Additionally, industry and business were

basically

at

the same a similar

level. Industry

occupied represented

11% of water consumption,

which was

only 1% more than business.

?

For the residential Residential

water usage

, in the

bathroom

, little higher than

and

garden

,

stood at roughly 28% and 26% respectively. Washing clothes, the

third largest

part percentage

of residential

part usage

, was at 20% precisely,

which was as

twice as

much as

the

proportion used in the

kitchen

took

account.

Toilet

, usage between the washing clothes and kitchen,

was

accidentally

5% less than

the former proportion for washing clothes

and 5%

less than

for

the

latter kitchen, showing

at 15%

to be specific.

?

Feedback

Task Achievement

The writer dealt with the requirements of the task and a clear overview was

presented, although some supporting details to describe some of the key

features are not clearly presented (see comment boxes). To get a Band 7, there

would need to be a clear description of the key features.

Coherence and Cohesion

The writer arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear

overall progression. Cohesive devices are used effectively, but there is

inaccurate use of cohesive devices, for example

(

The part of residential,

referring to Residential usage of water in

apartments and houses /

Little more

than that, the

proportion

of used by

government was

a little more at

6%

). For

the candidate to attain a Band 6 in this criterion, cohesive devices would need

to be used accurately.

Vocabulary

A range of vocabulary is used which is adequate for the task. There are

noticeable errors in word choice that may cause some difficulty for the reader

(

Washing clothes, the third largest

part percentage

of residential

part usage

,

was at 20% precisely,

which was as

twice as

much as

the

proportion used in the

kitchen

took account

). To reach a Band 6 for this criterion, there would need to

be no errors that cause difficulty.

Grammar

The writing displays a mix of simple sentences and complex sentence forms

(sentences with a dependent clause) For example, (

apartments and houses,

accounted for 57% and 13% respectively.

Whereas, whereas the

‘other’

category

merely took up 3% as the least

part of

water consumption

). In order

to achieve a Band 7, there would need to be frequent error free sentences

with more accuracy in the complex sentences.

Sample Answer

The pie chart illustrates the proportions of water usage in 2004 in Australia,

and the line graph portrays the percentages of use of water among households

for the same year. Overall, it can be seen residential homes used the vast

majority of water at that time, whereas in the homes, gardening and the

bathroom activities consumed well over half of the water.

Upon closer inspection, residential houses used 57% of the water, which was

the largest proportion of the national usage. Following this were residential

apartments, which consumed 13%, and this was the second largest quantity

overall. Industry and business used a very similar amount at 11% and 10%

respectively. 6% of the water was used by government departments and the

lowest amount of 3% was utilized by other sources.

As for the residential usage, the largest amount of water, approximately 28%,

passed through the bathroom, which was closely followed by gardening at

roughly 27%. Meanwhile, to wash clothes required 20% of the resource and

15% for the toilet utilization. The least amount of water (10%) was consumed

in the kitchen.